People are all over the map about their love of or loathing for the members of the crazy-wildly-popular TV show we've all heard of repeatedly (Jersey Shore, *ahem*). There are even kids who are so obsessed as to imitate the looks that The Situation, Snooks, JWoww and Pauly D rock, and I do mean KIDS (yikes).
But kids aren't the only ones reacting to the Jersey Shore phenomena; Cooper Anderson gets in on the two-cents-sharing act regarding the GTL ("Gym. Tanning. Laundry.") livin', as does the ENTIRE CABLE NETWORK CNN. (That sound you just heard was my jaw shattering after it landed on my desktop.) Serious. It's been reported in more than place. (I enjoy proof of such things. It means I'm not delusional. Mostly.)
Hey. You know what? No judgement. I'm sure the kids on Jersey Shore are just as deserving of seeking the answers to life's riddles in the cracks of the pavement in front of the Grammys and on Jay Leno's couch as the next hugely-yet-super-briefly-famous person. I SAID, I'M SURE OF IT. Just because you don't agree with me doesn't mean that'll stop me from eating this entire wheel of cheese I was recently given. I LIKE CHEESE. So what? I also like champagne, and staring at people through the slits in their blinds when I'm pretending to walk my dog. Does that mean I'm a bad person? Does it?
Um, also, please don't tell anyone about that whole staring-through-blinds-at-people thingy. It's not that I care if you do. It's just, I don't feel like starting a trend. And, see, I have respect for my fellow civilians. I do. For one thing, I only do it at night. In the dark. When no one will notice. Because I'm compassionate (obviously).
So, uh, hey! Look! Another Jersey Shore news item! Did you know that the good people who run the New York fashion week are vomiting thrilled at the thought of the Jersey Shore crew bum-rushing the front row of their show? Furthermore, OMG, the house the kids lived in during the show's first season now rents for $25,000 a night and you have to bang the owner's wife. Dude. Kidding. It only rents for $3,500 a night. You still have to bang the owner's wife. But only if you're serious about renting. Still kidding. You don't have to bang anyone. All you have to do is stay in the joint for a few hours and you'll have acquired more sexually transmitted diseases than you could in a lifetime of banging skeevy Jersey Shore landlords' wives. Which I believe automatically qualifies you to be on the show's third season. As Snook's love interest. (No, it doesn't matter whether you're male or female.)
Also!, it would appear that season 2 will be held on the pristine shores of Miami. AND Snook's hiding a big, sexy stash of homemade Snook-starring porn and nude photos. Well, no, but then again, COME ON. Her favorite thing in the whole world is sucking on pickles while wearing a "porn-star in training" trucker cap. (In pink.)
(Expect the porn vid/nekkid snaps to be the real deal.) (But probably don't actually look at them. Well, do, but plan for burned-retina-syndrome.) (I don't think typical health insurance plans cover it.)