tshirt unicorn

St. Patrick's Day T-Shirts: They're Kind of Our Thing.

Tshirt Outlet has had a few whiz-bangers of t-shirt ideas in its time.  Not the least of which is the Irish Tuxedo tee - we did it first and THEN all of the copy-cat emulator-types came along and now it's one of those ubiquitous things you see on a t-shirt around St. Patty's Day.  Green?  Check.  Irish?  Check.  T-Shirt?  Check.  St.-Patty's-Fabulous?  Check, check, checkity-Irish-Day-check.

But lately we've been burning the midnight oil, and to be fair, while we've only been burning it at, like, noon, because, hi, do we LOOK like we're the kinda people who would work at midnight?, we've cooked up some straight HAWesome newnew fresh-fresh St. Patrick's Day t-shirt geeneyous.  (That's deliberately misspelled.  We're a lot of things, but we're not dubm.)

Geez.

So without further ado, the Irish funny T-Shirt newness, beginning with the shirt that treats the Irish ( in the mockery sense, so not so well, but because we're Irish, we can).  So This Irishman Walks Out of a Bar -- No, really, it can happen.

 

It's a pretty good one, we think.  And by pretty good, of course you can assume that means "totally CRAZY awesome."  We're humble, but not when it matters.  AND THIS MATTERS.

But, hey.  Maybe you're not into Irish sarcasm.  Fine.  How about your forthcoming Irish St. Paddy's pub crawl?  The one you'll be doing next week for who even knows how long?  Aren't you a little nervous at the thought of going it alone?  Going without the proper St. Patrick's Day pub crawl attire?  FOR THERE IS NO NEED, SAYETH THE TSHIRT OUTLET BLOG.  We have a t-shirt, dare we say THE t-shirt, for this important, possibly even pinnacle, moment in your life.  And this be that t-shirt:

 

And we're not through.  Because we couldn't walk away from this whole business without blowing the place up offering a girlified version.  Because womyn deserve t-shirts, too.  YO.

(It's cute and kinda fresh, but is in no way funky, for that is reserved for the bedrooms of teenage boys.  Given their propensity to ditch their funked-up socks all over the place.)

The girly St. Patrick's Day T-Shirt du jour, then, is this adorable, form-fitted tee, in green, because if you wanted to get pinched you could just ASK somebody to pinch you.  Right?  And it's kinda cheeky, but again, not an offer to be pinched.  Pinchers, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

St. Patrick's Day: Almost Upon Us.

Once upon a time, I used to not be a parent.  Also, I was young, and unsaddled by such cumbersome items as mortgage payments and various home repairs, and the knowledge that one day I would spend a truly heinous amount of money so that my child could attend an institution of higher education where he will surely spend his days sleeping and his nights in various states of unsobriety, while I beg him to remember to eat something that didn't come in a delivered-to-your-door cardboard box and is possibly green but not from mold.

And when I did not have these cares, when I was young and sleeping during the day and rattling about my velvet-and-diamond umbrella'd city at night, when I was this fresh, vibrant, carefree, usually-drunk personage, I was allowed to go to festivities that involved -- drunkiness.  And lateness.  Into the very wee sma's.  Afterhours.  And then some.

And never, in all that time, did I have a sweet-ass St. Patrick's Day t-shirt to call my own.  I went to a grip of parties celebrating the Irish day of green and lucky shamrock -- uh, ness; I spent vividly muddied hours carousing, drinking green beer and black-and-tans and well-poured Guinness and, oh, god, the whiskey.  *owwie*

If I could've had *any* of the shirts we're practically GIVING away for this year's St. Patty's Day celebration extraordinare, I would've a.) salivated over them all, and b.) had a very difficult time choosing the one that was aces for my big night o' wearing of the green.

(Okay, I would've totally worn this one.) The Original Irish Tuxedo t-shirt.

(Or.  Um.  No.  This one.  Definitely.)  The St. Patrick Is My Homeboy t-shirt.

 

(Unless this one ended up being the one I ran *back* to the apartment for, after everyone else had already gotten into the cab and were yelling at me that they were gonna ditch my lagger-ass.  At which point I would chuck it into my bag and do the over-under thing in the filled-to-capacity taxi while my friends all shouted at me to stop poking my elbows in their eyes while I changed.)

                              The Everyone Loves an Irish Girl t-shirt.

 

(Yeah.  This one.)