tshirt unicorn

The Office: Horseboat T-shirts Make For Safety, Knowledge While Still Being Clothed

The Office is a delightful, brilliant series.  We know, Ricky Gervais did it first and, some still insist, raggedly, that he did it best.  I will agree to disagree, but only because those people are too far away for me to punch in the neck.  (Not that I'm suggesting Mr. Gervais is anything but a mental luminary whose brilliance could contend with Aristotle and Andy Kaufman at the same moment.  Ricky Gervais deserves all the accolades in the world.  But the Americanized The Office is its own creature, now, and almost shouldn't be compared to the BBC version anymore.  For instance, BBC:  where's YOUR Ed-Helmsian character, YOUR Andy?  ExACTly.  /Point.)

Meanwhile, allow me to discourse, if you will, for a moment, on the worthiness of our officially-licensed The Office Horseboat T-shirt design.  Dwight Schrute, the originator of Horseboat, a mastermind idea if ever there was one, deserves plaudits to the max for such an invention.  For, as he says, when introducing it, "Horse. Boat. A canoe built around a horse so you can go from riding to water travel without slowing down. Horse boat!"  CANNOT. LOSE.

(I would kill to see the design implemented IRL.)

For the time being, however, we shall simply have to enjoy the Horseboat image emblazoned on a nice, cozy cotton t-shirt.  And you know what?  It makes me feel like taking up yachting.  (The kind of yacht that would support a small stable in its belly, that is.  And maybe an ice cream fountain.  And possibly a teeny hotel for the jockies.  Who would also have to be amphibious in order to fulfill the ultimate Horseboat fantasy.

Did that just get really kinky?

You're welcome.)

The Office: Dunder Mifflin Hooded Sweatshirts FOR THE WIN.

Hoodies are one of the world's greatest inventions, imo.  Coupled with another of the world's greatest TELEvision shows, you have something nearly explosive, except on a level of comfort akin to being rolled into a blanket and sent out for coffee.

The Office is one of our favorite television epics around here, and not just because of Creed or Phyllis or Kelly (although those are three damn fine reasons to favorite up with The Office).  Repruhsenting in Dunder Mifflin gear, especially if it's comfy and cozy and coffee-friendly (and coffee-SPILL-friendly, an important piece of the puzzle when you're clumsy as often as we are) is a fine, fine thing, and one we can't recommend highly enough. 

So, one more time, for the coffee-free and also because we are clearly trying, with no subtlety implied, to gain access to teh g00gle, we present our beloved Dunder Mifflin hoodie, aka DUNDER MIFFLIN HOODED SWEATSHIRT ahem.

Thank you for your time and attention.  We suggest you press the image above with your mouse's finger if you'd like to buy one of these fine garments.

*whistles, looks away so as to make the future owners of the Dunder Mifflin hoodie less discomfited by the skewered, intent stares while they purchase with wild abandon*

Michael Scott is the GREATEST BRANCH MANAGER in the WORLD.

Michael Scott, beloved/beleagured manager of the Scranton Dunder-Mifflin branch of the award-winning show, The Office, is truly a breathtaking sight.  He tells eight-year-old jokes like they're fresh out the box.  He divests himself of his inner monologue, subsequently shaming/horrifying those present to witness it, and then grins.  He has absolutely no ability to self-analyze.  That he possesses a sense of embarrassment, of shame, at all, is surprising.  It's not that he's different from the people around him in regards to typical experiences of embarrassment or shame, which result when it's revealed that he is not perfect, but what he lacks, utterly, is even a modicum of sympathy.  He is self-serving beyond all belief.  What appears to be, on occasion, a sympathetic urge on his part, is always, in the end, a smoke-screen for the basest of avarice-driven motives.  Michael Scott is absolutely unaware, most important, of this overt element of his personality.  The people around him are often stunned by his lack of self-awareness, given his routine behavior which supports this notion.  They're used to it, but they're still regularly newly-astonished by its pronounced quality, by Michael's bald selfishness.

The Tshirtoutlet.com's original design, then, as seen on this t-shirt, is a tribute to the delightfully ignorant Michael Scott, and to his regular statements to that effect.  (I.e., BLATANTLY offensive.)

All of the Tshirtoutlet's designs for NBC's The Office are officially licensed, original-artwork designs.  Rest assured, you won't get pulled over and jailed wearing Tshirtoutlet's The Office t-shirts.  (You're more likely to get stopped and pestered about where you bought it, but we've never claimed our t-shirts are risk-averse.)

Why Summertime Kind of Blows: No Television.

I know, I know.  I sound kind of grousy (hacked-together grouse x mousy) about the loss of all mah fave-rit telly, but DAMN.  It's hard out there for a teevee addict.  House MD, wherefore art thou?  Oh, The Office, thou hast left but a taste of the divine in my sorry gullet.  30 Rock, why must you leave me?  WHY?  WHYYYYYYYYYYY????  *sob*

Anyway, sure, yeah, I'm a little... disconsolate about having to do something besides gorge myself on teh television all summer, but the good news is just how MUCH people still seem to enjoy reminding themselves of the existence of their favorites from House, 30 Rock and The Office through the JOY OF T-SHIRTS.  Namely, tshirtoutlet.com's officially-licensed ones.  Rad, huh?

(We think so.)

In fact, sales have never been better.  Not that we're getting cocky.  Although we are.  A little.  Because, dewd!  You like us!  You really, really like us!

*blush*

And, yeah, sure, the affection you've shown us lately might have more to do with our kind of sick-awesome sales over on our facebook page of glory and discountishness, and that's cool.  We can dig it.  We can.  No.  Really.  Honest.  But mostly?  We're stoked either way.  Because we happen to know that we'll be killing it with even more righteous t-shirt-fabulous designs in the coming months, but KILLING it, and you'll be thanking us with your purchasing power-to-the-third-power.  Which is reciprocal t-shirt love, quite frankly, and we are down like a frown with that.

So.  Summer doesn't really blow so totally hard after all, turns out.

Rad.

Building the Dwight Schrute Army.

The name Dwight Schrute:  Evocative.  Powerful.  Connected to agriculture.  Survivalist. 

Beets.

The Dwight Schrute Army, or DSA, will be announcing itself to the world.  Soon.  In Portland, Oregon.  If you live in Portland, Oregon, you may wish to keep at least one ear to the ground in order to be alerted to its activities.  It will be formidable.  And you will want to participate in its formidableness. 

Dwight Schrute Army.  This is only the first you will hear of it.  And you will never forget where you were.  You will remember everything.  Every sound, every smell, every strange bleet of calf or kid or sqwawking bird will pierce you with its stark quality of the nearing Apocalyptic storm. 

And we will be ready.

The Office: Kelly Kapoor=Office-y and! Phonetastic.

We have to confess that the character of Kelly Kapoor is hands-down our favorite on The Office (at least, most days of the week, when we're not strangling on our all-out ardor for Phyllis Vance or Andy Bernard).  She's crazy about pop culture, down to its entrails.  Her manipulative abilities in the realm of romantic pursuits, as well as in relation to her social encounters within the office setting, are outrageously subtle, especially given how loud she tends to be about almost every minor topic that flits through her head on a given day. 

What we're selling today at tshirtoutlet.com: NOT pandemonium. never that. never.

What we *are* selling?  Besides an assload of awesome?  (Because, dude.  Isn't that the predominantly obvious element of everything we touch/do/belch -- do not answer.  We wouldn't want to interrupt an important belch of your own simply so that you might join in sonorous sycophantic agreement with us.  Never fear; we're already aware, on /so/many/levels/, of teh awezome, and how we do, indeed, bring it.  Even if we have to couch that awareness in two- or three-year-old lingo.  That is NOT the point.  Okay, it may, in fact, be the point.  Maybe you're saying to yourself, well, gosh, tso, don't you think hyper-awareness of current linguistic cool markers are crucial, nay, elemental, to survival in the cut-throat realm of tshirty domination?  And the answer?  We simply cannot give it.  To do so would be to make you look/feel simultaneously so incredibly underinformed, and our goal is to ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS ... think about things we're saying while we're saying them, and to not stare into the middle-distance while doing so, in order that we don't lose our train of thought and get distracted and start wondering whether they're ever going to produce another television show that centers on a trucker and his pet monkey and their lovable, foibly hi-jinks [because HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG?, srsly, with a plotline figured around that level of awesomeness?  ????  ExACTly.  You can't.  </argumentwon>)]).

NBC's The Office is tshirtoutlet.com's favorite new official license

Nailed it.  If we were Ed Helms's character, Andy Bernard, we'd be gloating.  NBC has seen fit to allow tshirtoutlet.com's parent company to be the designated (uh, designatedly AWEsome) producers of Ricky Gervais' American version of The Office t-shirts.  And we're STOKED. 

Hey!  We ARE Andy.  Beer us a t-shirt.  Maybe this one.

And after we've gotten our t-shirts on, maybe you can beer us some long-island iced teas.  So we can get our buzz on, and maybe even get our Lost on.

Sweetness.